Author Archives
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Mike Baird’s Vertebra Demolished To Make Way For WestConnex
The builders of Sydney’s WestConnex motorway have compulsorily acquired and demolished part of the backbone of Premier Mike Baird to construct an off ramp for the $16.8 billion project. “The Premier’s spine has no heritage value and under the current… Read More ›
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“Banana Splits” Banned From AFL
1970s TV stars “The Banana Splits” have been banned from attending Aussie rules games after fears that morons may hurl band members at indigenous players. “We’ve told security staff to be on the lookout for an elephant carrying a keyboard… Read More ›
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Outrage Over Plans To Move Liverpool Speedway To Inner City Sydney
Western Sydney motor racing fans are in uproar after Mike Baird and Clover Moore announced plans to relocate the Liverpool Speedway to the inner city suburb of Newtown. “I refuse to travel all the way to the middle of somewhere… Read More ›
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James Packer Slams John Cleese: Slapping Spanish Waiters In The Head Also A Horrible Way To Make Money
Billionaire casino owner James Packer has criticised John Cleese for the brutal treatment of his waiter Manuel back in the 1970s when the comedian used to manage a hotel in Torquay. “I’d like to remind Mr Cleese that I always… Read More ›
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Aussie Runner Goes Back To Make Sure Fallen Opponent Stays Down
An Australian athlete has been praised for showing the true spirit of Aussie sportsmanship by stopping in the middle of a 5000 metre race and returning to push a fallen rival back to the ground. “I saw that a runner… Read More ›
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Peter Dutton Self Immolates The Last Of His Humanity
Peter Dutton has set fire to the last remaining shred of his humanity in an effort to convince asylum seekers that it is pointless to look at him for empathy over their treatment in offshore detention centres. “Fortunately I only… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 