Author Archives
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15th Loss Of The Season Finally Shuts Up That Fucking Western Sydney Wanderers Fan
Workmates of fanatical Western Sydney Wanderers supporter Brett Gooley are relieved to report that last weekend’s loss against Perth Glory has finally shut him the fuck up. “All we’ve heard from Brett for the past three years is how the… Read More ›
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Outrage Over Grape Joke At Deaf Festival
Organisers of the annual Deaf Festival have apologized to outraged twitter users who ‘misheard’ a joke told by someone they’d never seen at an event they didn’t attend. A second apology was issued a few moments later after people without impaired… Read More ›
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Australia Passes Stringent “Empty Bottle” Laws To Stop Pilots Leaving To Go To The Bathroom
Deputy Prime Minister Warren Trust will this afternoon announce that Australian aviation regulations will be strengthened to ensure that there will be two people in the cockpit at all times. This move comes shortly after it was revealed that German… Read More ›
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Growing Fears Shane Warne May Die of Thirst
The International Cricket Community has rallied around Channel Nine commentator Shane Warne after his constant references to drinks and drinking in the wake of Australia’s World Cup victory over New Zealand on Sunday sparked concerns the former Spin King was… Read More ›
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QLD Police Twitter Account Wins Raw Comedy
The social media department of the Queensland Police Service has won The Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s Open Mic Comedy Competition. The annual contest has launched the careers of many household names including Josh Thomas, Hannah Gadsby and that guy who… Read More ›
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‘It’s A Shame How We Only Ever See Each Other at Funerals’ Say People Who Still Respect The Position Of Australian Prime Minister
The dwindling number of Australians who still hold the position Prime Minister in some kind of regard lamented how they only seem to catch up with each other at funerals as they bid farewell to former PM Malcolm Fraser in… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 