Author Archives
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Kim Jong Un To Moderate Coalition Party Room
In an unprecedented move the coalition is moving to recruit North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. This follows the lengthy debate in the coalition party room in regards to marriage equality in recent days. Tony Abbott told a press conference,… Read More ›
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Monster Shark Dies While Resisting Arrest
Fisheries have said that a huge shark caught of northern New South Wales this week died as a result of a struggle when being taken into custody. “We just wanted to talk to him about an incident in the area”,… Read More ›
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Infographics Outlawed By Government
Canberra has declared that from next Monday all federal government departments must cease using infographics in reports and other communications. The directive came from the Minister for Communications, Malcolm Turnbull and is believed to be part of the government’s wider… Read More ›
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Falling Dollar To Be Pegged To Collingwood FC Performance
In a move analysts have described as ‘novel’, Australia’s troubled currency is set to be pegged to the fortunes of Collingwood Football Club. Treasurer Joe Hockey has taken the step in an attempt to slow the dollar’s rapid slide away… Read More ›
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Nick Kyrgios To Be Appointed Australian Cricket Team’s Vice-Captain In Bid To Boost Sledging Stocks
Australian tennis star and sledger extraordinaire Nick Kyrgios was today announced as the Australian cricket team’s new vice-captain, following the leadership shake up caused by Michael Clarke’s retirement. A Cricket Australia spokesperson told The (un)Australian: “After Clarkie’s retirement, we needed to shake… Read More ›
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Conservatives Commentators Call For Malcolm Turnbull To Be Tried For Treason
Conservative commentators have banded together to demand Prime Minister Abbott have Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull tried for treason. Speaking off the record, a conservative commentator, whom we shall refer to as AB, told The (un)Australian of their anger toward Turnbull,… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 