Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when… Read More ›
Politics
Nation-Wide Pillow Case Shortage Causes ‘No Campaign’ To Cancel Rally
A nation-wide shortage of white pillow cases has caused the ‘No campaign’ to cancel their upcoming rallies, a move which has inconvenienced 10’s of people. ”Really disappointed to have to cancel the rallies, a lot of people have put a… Read More ›
Sky News Hosts To Walk Backwards Around Australia In Support Of The No Vote
Low rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has pledged that it’s hosts will walk backwards around Australia this month to encourage the Nation to vote no at the upcoming referendum. ”Australians will be inspired to see some of the countries… Read More ›
Peter Tells Reporters To Please Refer To Him As Donald Dutton
Head of the Australian arm of the Republican party, Peter Dutton, has told reporters to start calling him Donald Dutton or The Donald for short. ”This is a great move by Peter, sorry, Donald Dutton,” said Republican party cheer leader… Read More ›
Dutton Asks Qantas For Tips On How To Remove Deadwood
Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has given the board of Qantas a call to see how they managed to rid themselves of the deadwood that was Alan Joyce. ”As Politicians we can learn a lot from business,” said the… Read More ›
Sussan Considers A Leadership Sspill Against Unpopular Dutton
The Opposition’s resident numerology expert, Sussan Ley, has spent the weekend considering whether to challenge unpopular Opposition leader Peter Dutton following last week’s horrific Robodebt findings. “Susssan has been ringing around checking with her numerologist, astrologist and even her kinesiologist… Read More ›