Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
Science
ScoMo Assures Australia That We Won’t Open Up Till Jen And The Girls Are Fully Vaccinated
Prime Minister for Sydney Scott Morrison has moved to assure the Nation that he won’t open everything up until Jen and the Girls are fully vaccinated. ”I know a lot of Australians are concerned that at the moment the Girls… Read More ›
ScoMo Thanks His Creepy Mate For The Pallet Of Ivermectin
Prime Minister for Sydney Scott Morrison has thanked his creepy mate the Member for Dawson George Christensen for the pallet of Ivermectin that the MP gifted Jen and the Girls. ”George is a very generous chap, when he heard of… Read More ›
Locked Down Sydney Residents Still Unaware Of Existence Of Something Called “Instant Coffee”
Millions of Sydney residents braved lockdown restrictions yesterday to lumber down to their favourite café to pick up a cup of coffee, still blissfully unaware that something called “instant coffee” was invented decades ago. “I’ve had to mill around in… Read More ›
School Lockdowns Lead To Entire Generation Of Kids Unable To Play The Triangle
Australia is facing a bleak future after it was revealed that due to covid lock downs an entire generation of children will be growing up unable to play the triangle, finger paint or know the rules of “heads down thumbs… Read More ›
Scotty From Marketing Spotted In Bunnings Looking For A DIY Ark Kit
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison who was thought to be be missing during the NSW floods has been spotted at his local Bunnings store asking staff which aisle the DIY ark kits are located in. ”Never fear Australia I am… Read More ›