Members of the Australian Medical Association (AMA) have reported a surge in the cases of wrist RSI in teenagers during the month of March, as the country slowly moves into lock down. “With the country moving towards lock down we… Read More ›
Science
Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
World’s Cats Impressed By How Fast We’ve Learnt To Open Doors With Our Elbows
The cat population of the world is gobsmacked at how quickly humans have picked up the skill of being able to open a door without using their hands to avoid any contact with the corona virus. “We really thought you… Read More ›
Malcolm Roberts Calls On Supermarkets To Limit Aluminium Foil Purchases To One Pack Per Person
One Nation’s leading mind (sic) Malcolm Roberts has called upon Australia’s supermarkets to impose limits on the purchases of aluminium foil, to one pack per customer to counter so-called panic buying. “Whilst I am yet to be convinced that this… Read More ›
Men Panic That If All Sport’s Cancelled They May Have To Start Talking About Their Feelings
With serious talk of major sporting competitions being cancelled due to COVID-19, panic is spreading amongst the world’s men that they could be left with nothing to talk about except for their emotions. “Even our semi-abusive banter that passes for… Read More ›
Mob Attacks Cute Puppy For Stealing Toilet Paper
An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper. “He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,”… Read More ›
