Australia’s Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton is reportedly in hiding after hearing the rumours surrounding Microsoft founder Bill Gates’ plan to chip human beings. “Peter is very nervous about potentially being chipped,” said a Spokesperson. “Normally the Minister… Read More ›
Opponents of 5G technology have called on authorities to force Telco’s to re brand it as they claim that a lot of their supporters struggle to count past 3 let alone 5. “This is just another example of lefty elitists… Read More ›
The Morrison Government has announced a new $25,000 grant for people who are fearful of 5G technology to cover their houses in tin foil. The announcement comes following extensive lobbying from One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts. ”This is a good… Read More ›
Friends of a petless Kirrawee couple are concerned that they may be overcompensating for their lack of a cat or a dog by obsessing over their children. “You go over to visit and like the kids are just running around… Read More ›
A contrite nuclear physicist at CERN has been severely reprimanded after putting Hot Wheels cars at each end of the Large Hadron Collider and conducting experiments to see if anything cool happens when they crash at high speeds. “We caught… Read More ›
Scouring news reports for details of what restrictions are being lifted where and when, Brad Murray has just one question: when can he go back to never really bothering to wash his hands? While many have had their lives turned… Read More ›
