Dutton Claims Chernobyl’s Thriving Tourism Business Proof Australia Needs A Nuclear Industry

Australian Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has called on Australia to go nuclear in order to boost the tourism industry, after hearing the news that the Chernobyl nuclear site was seeing a boom in tourism.

”Anthony Albanese needs to put on his big boy pants and give the go ahead to nuclear power in this country,” said the Dark Lord Peter Dutton. ”Look at Chernobyl, imagine that in Sydney’s Western suburbs or some other Labor voting electorate.”

”The tourism dollars would just roll in, not to mention the power that would flow to other parts of the country.”

When asked why the Coalition was in favor pretty much any type of power rather than renewables, the Dark Lord said: ”When the sun doesn’t shine and the wind doesn’t blow what use are renewables?”

”Yes, there are batteries but come on. How big of a battery do we need to keep the lights on at the MCG and are who’s going to change it at half time?”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a briefing on the benefits of aboloshing the metric system.”

Mark Williamson


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