Clive Palmer To Be Eaten Alive By Stegosaurus



Queensland MP and amateur Mr Toad impersonator Clive Palmer today announced he has finalised an agreement with the Discovery Channel to be eaten alive by a stegosaurus.

The agreement comes after the Discovery Channel commissioned a similar program in which American documentary film maker Paul Rosolie was to be eaten alive by an anaconda. The show was marred in controversy as Mr Rosolie was not consumed whole by the anaconda.

When pressed by The (un) Australian as to how he intends to  go about being eaten by a stegosaurus, as the dinosaur is extinct, Palmer dismissively replied, “Stegosaurus’ exist haven’t you been to my golf course in Coolum or my dreams? I’m a man who makes dreams a reality I will be eaten by a stegosaurus and not you, nor Campbell Newman, nor Jacqui Lambie, nor my Psychiatrist can stop me!”

At this point there is no scheduled date for the documentary to air however there is speculation that it will be filmed aboard Palmer’s other pet project the Titanic 2.

 Mark Williamson


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