Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when… Read More ›
Albo
Nation-Wide Pillow Case Shortage Causes ‘No Campaign’ To Cancel Rally
A nation-wide shortage of white pillow cases has caused the ‘No campaign’ to cancel their upcoming rallies, a move which has inconvenienced 10’s of people. ”Really disappointed to have to cancel the rallies, a lot of people have put a… Read More ›
Peter Tells Reporters To Please Refer To Him As Donald Dutton
Head of the Australian arm of the Republican party, Peter Dutton, has told reporters to start calling him Donald Dutton or The Donald for short. ”This is a great move by Peter, sorry, Donald Dutton,” said Republican party cheer leader… Read More ›
Coalition Condemns Govt For Prioritising Pensioners Over Millionaire Pharmacists
The federal Opposition has condemned the Government over their decision to implement 60 day prescriptions, a move which will drop the price of medication, helping pensioners, but affecting chemists. ”Where does Anthony Albanese get off,” fumed Opposition leader Peter Dutton…. Read More ›
Press Pack Stunned That Albo Doesn’t Know The Price Of A Gram Of Coke
The Canberra press pack has worked themselves into a lather today after Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was unable to say how much a gram of coke was on the FM radio show Wazza and the Spanker. ”It just goes to… Read More ›
Barnaby Confuses Pornhub Soccer Shower Scene With Matildas Game
The Opposition’s minister for various affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told friends how he inadvertently watched a Pornhub soccer shower scene on the weekend believing it to be Channel 7’s coverage of the Matildas v France World cup game. ”It’s easy… Read More ›