Low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn over the weekend that politics is in fact a popularity contest. ”Peter thought the object of the game was to appeal to Sky News after dark, he… Read More ›
Insiders
Dutton Promises Australia Will Meet It’s 2050 Target By Running On Hate
Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when… Read More ›
Nation-Wide Pillow Case Shortage Causes ‘No Campaign’ To Cancel Rally
A nation-wide shortage of white pillow cases has caused the ‘No campaign’ to cancel their upcoming rallies, a move which has inconvenienced 10’s of people. ”Really disappointed to have to cancel the rallies, a lot of people have put a… Read More ›
Sky News Hosts To Walk Backwards Around Australia In Support Of The No Vote
Low rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has pledged that it’s hosts will walk backwards around Australia this month to encourage the Nation to vote no at the upcoming referendum. ”Australians will be inspired to see some of the countries… Read More ›
Peter Tells Reporters To Please Refer To Him As Donald Dutton
Head of the Australian arm of the Republican party, Peter Dutton, has told reporters to start calling him Donald Dutton or The Donald for short. ”This is a great move by Peter, sorry, Donald Dutton,” said Republican party cheer leader… Read More ›
Coalition Condemns Govt For Prioritising Pensioners Over Millionaire Pharmacists
The federal Opposition has condemned the Government over their decision to implement 60 day prescriptions, a move which will drop the price of medication, helping pensioners, but affecting chemists. ”Where does Anthony Albanese get off,” fumed Opposition leader Peter Dutton…. Read More ›