Opposition leader Peter Dutton, buoyed by the boost in polls he has received after spending weeks trashing the Voice, has told colleagues that he will look to win the next election with his signature policy, a return of the white… Read More ›
Labor
Dutton Tells Colleagues: ”It’s Not A Lie If The Press Don’t Question It”
Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has told colleagues that it’s not a lie if the press don’t question you on it. ”Pete has been getting a bit loose with the truth over the last couple of weeks,” said a… Read More ›
Dutton Shocked To Learn That Politics Is In Fact A Popularity Contest
Low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn over the weekend that politics is in fact a popularity contest. ”Peter thought the object of the game was to appeal to Sky News after dark, he… Read More ›
Dutton Defends Never Attending Garma, Saying: ”I’ve Arrested Heaps Of Indigenous Kids”
Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has defended the fact that he has never attended the Garma festival, telling colleagues that he has arrested plenty of indigenous people in his time. ”A lot is being made that Pete has never… Read More ›
Dutton Too Busy ‘Washing His Hair’ To Make It To The Garma Festival
Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has told reporters that he already has plans this weekend to wash his hair, so will be unable to make it to the Garma festival, after being invited by the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese…. Read More ›
Scotty From Marketing Launches New Catch Phrase: ”Don’t Blame Me, I Didn’t Do It!”
Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Scotty from marketing, has taken to the socials to launch his new catch phrase: ”Don’t blame me, I didn’t do it.” ”People have a lot of expectations on a former Prime Minister,” said Scotty… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 