Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he is refreshed and ready to hit the campaign trail after spending the weekend indulging in his favorite hobby, physically hurting people. ”Look, week one wasn’t my best, but, I think we… Read More ›
Not A Monster
Dutton Celebrates Newspoll Success By Strangling A Puppy
Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and… Read More ›
Libs Blame Poor Polling On Public’s Fascination With Low Carb Diets
The Liberal party has blamed their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s diabolically low popularity on the public’s fascination with low-carb diets. ”The public for years have been told that carbs are bad and worse than the devil,” said a… Read More ›
Prime Minister Dutton Promises To Not Wash Anyone’s Hair But May Strangle Their Puppy
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been telling colleagues that if they give him the Prime Ministership he will not wash anyone’s hair, however, he will not promise to stop strangling people’s puppies. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›
Dutton Finds Million Dollar Property Down The Back Of The Couch
Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has spoken of his surprise after finding a million dollar Townsville property down the back of the couch. Promising that he will list the property on the parliamentary register next time that… Read More ›