Libs Blame Poor Polling On Public’s Fascination With Low Carb Diets

The Liberal party has blamed their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s diabolically low popularity on the public’s fascination with low-carb diets.

”The public for years have been told that carbs are bad and worse than the devil,” said a Liberal party operative. ”So, it will take a bit of work on our part to get out and sell Peter Dutton as something that is not evil.”

”Or aligned in any way with the devil, .”

When asked if they seriously believed that Peter Dutton could really win them an election, the Liberal party operative said: ”Fear is a wonderful motivator.”

”Who knows, maybe before the next election the Dark Lord may kidnap the entire Nation’s loved ones.”

”It’s a long way to go before the Nation next votes.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a trying time for the Dark Lord, so I may go out and buy him a puppy to strangle as a way to cheer him up.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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