Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has spoken of his surprise after finding a million dollar Townsville property down the back of the couch. Promising that he will list the property on the parliamentary register next time that he is in Canberra.
”It’s a simple oversight and for anyone to say otherwise well that is nothing more than treason,” said Minister Dutton. ”I mean we’ve all lost something down the back of a couch before, be it a phone, an au pair or the deeds to a Townsville property.”
”I suppose that failed Premier Kristina Kenneally has never lost anything before, other than an election that is.”
When asked how he could forget to list a near million dollar property on the parliamentary register, Mr Dutton said: ”It’s simple really Gladys Berejiklian distracted me.”
”Here I was sitting at the office updating the register and about to stop the Ruby Princess ship from docking, even though as Minister I am only supposed to stop boats not ships, when Gladys Berejiklian burst in to my office and distracted me.”
”If anyone is to blame for these events occurring it’s Gladys, not me.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long and stressful day so I’m off to relax by strangling a puppy or two.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.
We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz
The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:
Categories: Politics
NSW Liberals File A Missing Persons Report For Peter Dutton 
Jen Promises To Take Sad Scotty To Subway For A Sandwich And A Cookie 
Perrotet Government To Give Kids $400 To Be Spent On The Pokies 
Barnaby Joyce Offers A Leg Over, Err Up, To Celebrate International Women’s Day 
The (un)Australian 
Leave a Reply