Failed State Transport Minister Hopes To Become Failed Federal Transport Minister

Andrew Constance

Failed NSW Transport Minister Andrew Constance has thrown his hat in to the ring to run for the soon to be vacated seat of Eden-Monaro at the upcoming by-election.

”I feel I am the best person for the job. I mean, my record in NSW speaks for itself,” said Minister Constance. ”I mean, look at the light rail! I opened that – admittedly a bit late and over-budget, but still it’s running … well, it was yesterday.”

”And don’t forget the bushfires! When those flames came near my house, I took it upon myself to speak to the cameras. Heck, I even shed a tear or two.”

When asked how he would go working with Prime Minister Scott Morrison, given that he had criticised the Prime Minister’s bushfire response earlier in the year, Mr Constance said: ”I’m sure that will be water under the bridge and, you know, if it’s not – who knows? Maybe Scotty won’t be in charge anymore.”

”I always did get on well with Peter Dutton, and I’m quite a fan of Christian Porter!”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just gotta jump in the car and head across town. Would usually get the train, but I need to be there this month.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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