Stall-Free Pig Suspicious About Why Farmer Suddenly So Nice

Pig (1)

White Landrace hog Arthur is not convinced that Nowra farmer Bert Spender has his best intentions at heart, despite removing him from his battery stall and giving him a proper sty to run about in.

“It’s great to feel sunshine again, roll in the mud and be able to turn around,” grunted Arthur, “But I have my doubts that Bert is doing all this for simply because he thinks I’m a top bloke.”

“The signals I’m getting from Bert are mixed,” lamented Clyde, an Angus steer from the same property. “Bert has started to give me massages and feed me grain rather than processed fish meal, so I thought that meant he liked my company. But when I tried to jump in the car recently for a family outing, the door was slammed in my face.”

“Bert has started saying “wagyu” a lot ever since he got back from Japan. I haven’t looked it up yet but I assume it’s the Japanese word for ‘mate’.”

Peter Green

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