Sony Gives In To Hackers’ Demands, Leaves Box of Cuban Heels At Drop Zone


Sony Pictures Entertainment has cancelled the release of its upcoming film The Interview starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, when, in a Dr Strangelove-esque act of irony, the hacker group calling themselves “Guardians of the Peace” threatened 9/11 style violence if the movie was released.

The threats came after the group spent weeks leaking Sony’s emails and information in an attempt to get the movie pulled. The leaks revealed some of Hollywood’s most protected secrets, including the fact that Adam Sandler does not make very good movies.

North Korea has denied any link to the group that is coincidentally demanding the exact outcome that North Korea wants. Despite Kim Jong-Un’s word being oak, the federal authorities intend to announce evidence linking the two tomorrow.

Media commentators are concerned that by “caving in” the studio will be encouraging further threats in the future. Others, meanwhile, are wondering if it’s too late to employ the same strategy to prevent the release of future James Franco movies.

The move has sparked major interest and heated debate among America’s usually lethargic and dim-witted citizenry. Some citizens have been calling the move “the death of freedom”. Interest in the movie has reached fever-pitch and Dianne Feinstein is already kicking herself for not initially refusing to release the CIA torture report due to “terrorist threats”.

Other demands that the Guardians of the Peace have made that Sony is complying with include “a box of Cuban Heels” and “all of the cheese. All of it.” Sony executives were spotted leaving the items at a pre-arranged drop-off point located in Dennis Rodman’s garden.

Matthew Farthing is the Entertainment Editor for The (un)Australian. He once declared ‘Godfather 3’ to be the best of the series. Follow him on Twitter.

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Categories: Arts, World

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