A sea of blue uniforms have been sent hurtling through the space-time continuum on Sunday as hundreds of officers were caught in a time rift while protesting New York Mayor Bill de Blasio during his eulogy for slain police officer Wenjian Liu.
Mr De Blasio barely had time to pull the microphone up to his mouth before New York’s finest, and some of their more average, began turning their backs on the mayor. This is the second time NYPD officers have participated in such an action, following a similar stunt at Officer Rafael Ramos’ funeral. However, like most sequels, this one involved time travel.
It is hypothesised that Pat Lynch, the head of New York’s largest police union, happened to be carrying his Terranium Crystal, which when combined with the NYPD’s actions, activated surrounding chronitrons in the timesphere, transporting the protesters back to 1997. These events are totally plausible, according to my 10th grade understanding of Science and undergraduate understanding of Magic.
While the officers who were transported back in time may be relishing the chance to see Meredith Brooks at the height of “Bitch“, it remains to be seen how these officers’ absences will affect current NYPD work-stoppages.
According to sources from 1997, an old man was spotted witnessing the future protesters. He was overheard talking on a payphone: “Fred! Fred, it’s Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Phelps. You know that new attempt to draw attention to yourself that you’re looking for? Well check this out!”
Matthew Farthing is the American Correspondent for The (un)Australian. After appearing on stage with Barack Obama at an awards ceremony, he exclaimed his famous catch phrase “I like the boy”. Follow him on Twitter.