Prime Minister Abbott is convinced that Kirribilli House has become home to Babadooks after accidentally watching a horror film about the supernatural creatures while sleeping over at a friend’s place.
“If we had a science minister, he could science something up to help protect us from the Babadooks,” said a clearly distressed Abbott as he checked the space under his bed. “Like a raygun or an anti-Babadook pill or something I asked Archbishop Pell for help but he said he could only assist me if I was in danger from demons, behemoths or great seven headed dragons.”
“Tony knows he’s only allowed to watch scary movies during the daytime and even then only if he’s accompanied by an adult,” sighed the prime minister’s wife Margie Abbott. “He was exactly the same after we let him watch Hellraiser. He wouldn’t go to bed unless we left a light on and checked his toy cupboard for Pinheads.”
“We haven’t had an official request from the Prime Minster’s office to investigate any Babadooks,” said CSIRO cryptozoologist Wilhelm Skreem. “I did hear that one of the security guards at Kirribilli House removed a possum from the roof, which may be the source of Mister Abbott’s problem.”
It is believed that Abbott may have watched the DVD about the Babadooks while sleeping over at his friend Joe Hockey’s house when Hockey’s parents were away.
Peter Green
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