Eight-year-old Penrith boy Jack Carter is tonight being cared for by the Department of Community Services after neighbours reported that his 41-year-old father Adam had never sat him down in front of the TV to watch the original Star Wars movie Star Wars Part IV: A New Hope.
“Adam is simply unfit to be a parent if he thinks that there are more important things to do than to sit young Jack down in front of a widescreen TV and watch that scene where the huge imperial destroyer flies right over the top of you,” said disgusted neighbour Jim Ferris. “It’s heartbreaking night after night to not hear the sounds of that opening ‘da da dada da dada da dada’ come booming out from the Carter’s house. I couldn’t just let that go on.”
“This is one of the worst cases of abuse I’ve seen in over fifteen years of working for the department”, said DOCS caseworker Don Givens. “I don’t understand how a father can’t excitedly set some time aside to sit down and watch his own son watch Star Wars for the very first time. It sickens me.”
“I just don’t like the movie all that much,” said an unrepentant Adam Carter. “All those stupid wookies and people using the force to give each other neck holds. I don’t get it.”
DOCS is looking for a suitable family of nerds to adopt young Jack while his father spends the night in protective custody in Silverwater prison in a cell block usually reserved for kiddy fiddlers and snitches.