ISIS Tourism Minister Wants Beheadings To Feature Waterfalls In Background


The ISIS tourism minister has complained that images of a bare stony desert that feature as the backdrop of the groups beheading videos is discouraging potential holiday makers from including The Caliphate in their vacation plans.

“These videos have an audience in the billions. It’s a great opportunity to showcase some really nice beauty and historic sites in the Syria region to the world,” said Abdullah Al Fayed, the Minister for Tourism and Events. “Maybe we could target the gourmet traveller by holding our next hostage assassination in front of a lovely grove of date palms and include a display of local jams and olive oils on a stand.”

“He’s always crapping on about waterfalls and scenic gorges. We only made Abdullah a minister in The Caliphate because he’s my wife’s brother”, sighed ISIS minister for war Bassam Sultan. “He’s taking his job way too seriously. And anyway, what’s wrong with featureless sandy plains? That’s where I take all my holidays.”

“The Caliphate could be the next big destination for the young and hip traveller who’re looking for adventure and don’t want to fight the crowds”, said Dick Emery, editor of the Lonely Planet website. “I strongly recommend that they film their next beheading in front of a lake filled with frolicking backpackers stand up paddle boarding.”

 Peter Green

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