With the nation still reeling from at least two elections in a row not won by the party favoured by Melbourne shock jock Tom Ellliott, on top of disturbingly low polls for the Tom Elliott-backed Prime Minister Tony Abbott, 3AW’s drive time host Tom Elliott has come up with a solution: A brutal fascist dictatorship which shoots anyone who does anything Tom Elliott does not like.
In a February 6 Herald Sun op-ed, Elliott joked, “Former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill once observed, ‘democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried’”, before concluding that anyone caught questioning his views should be sent to re-education camps until they learned to accept all of Elliott’s arguments.
Pointing out the many problems the nation faces, ranging from a refusal of the Victorian and Queensland electorates to vote for conservative parties with policies he likes, to people not enthusiastically supporting the bulldozing of their houses for a freeway, right through to his show’s ratings falling through the floor, Elliott made a bold proposal: “An appointed committee of eminent and competent Australians to sort it out.”
For Elliott, such a committee/all-powerful fascist junta “would consist of experts in their fields without political axes to grind”, and he was quick to suggest a list of candidates (with one vote each): Tom Elliott, Tony Abbott, Tom Elliott, Campbell Newman, Denis Napthine, Tom Elliott, Jeff Kennett, Tom Elliott and Tom Elliott.
Speaking to The (un)Australian about his bold proposal, Elliott said: “It is so obvious that democracy has failed. If a man as likeable as Campbell Newman cannot win public support for sacking tens of thousands of public servants, destroying the Great Barrier Reef and flogging off anything not nailed down, then something has gone terribly wrong in this once-great nation of ours.
“Add to this the fact that even Neil Mitchell’s show is rating higher than mine, and it is clear the Australian public simply cannot be trusted.”