Ivy Nightclub Rave Interrupted By ANZAC Day Dawn Service


Patrons of the inner city nightclub complex “Ivy” have lodged a noise complaint with NSW police over an incessant “bugle type” noise at approximately 4.30am on Saturday morning.

Jayson from Bondi told The (un) Australian “I was having my early morning coke hit, when I just heard this god awful noise coming from the street. It just killed my whole mood. The DJ stopped playing Avicii for 5 minutes and we all rushed out the front to see what was going on.”

CCTV then shows pretentious eastern suburbs models and footballers rushing down to Martin Place to see what all the noise was about. Hairdresser Imogen from Paddington said “there were all those old farts standing around in uniform, just looking at me, what a bunch of pervs. I  mean I paid over 20 bucks to stand around the pool bar in a little black dress in the middle of winter and these wankers just wanna play their bugle music at 4 in the morning and ruin it for everyone.”

An Ivy door bitch who wanted to remain anonymous said “If the old people wanna have a dawn rave that’s fine, but at least give us some notice, nobody here knew that there was a major event being held down the road. I mean who knew right?”

Management for Ivy have since released the following statement:

“It’s bad enough that the NSW government has enforced early lockouts and closing times across the CBD, but now we have to compete with a dawn service that starts at 4am, why is it one rule for them and a different rule for us?”

The statement also said “People pay good money to come to Ivy nightclub and to have that interrupted by music be played during the dawn service, to say our crowd was upset and disappointed is an understatement.”

Ivy management are now looking into the noise issue coming from the dawn service and also whether NSW Premier Mike Baird will enforce the lock out and closing time for dawn service next year so that it is in line with the rest of Sydney CBD.


Gus W Templeton

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