Tony Abbott Appoints John Key As Minister For Women


In an unprecedented move, Prime Minister Tony Abbott has decided to appoint his New Zealand counterpart John Key as the new minister for women.

Mr Abbott said after watching John Key’s expert and tactical handling of the NZ ponytail affair, he was the perfect man for the post, which until now had been held by the PM himself.

Mr Abbott said his replacement was perfect for the role, saying: “You have to give it to Mr Key, I think he handled the ponytail affair like a true professional.

“The girly in question obviously had a hidden agenda, Mr Key had already given her two bottles of wine and a generous tip and she still spilled her beans to the media, obviously this young lady is a feminist trouble maker and we hope that she gets the medical help that she so obviously needs.”

When asked about the ponytail incident, Mr Key said: “I would just like to make a serious pun here … I was just horsing around.” Mr Key was then high fived by Mr Abbott.

Mr Abbott will hand over the keys to the portfolio as early as Monday in a highly secretive ceremony at the mens only Melbourne club.

Gus W Templeton

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