Atheist Discovers 7968th Inconsistency in Bible, Declares God ‘Finally Dead’


‘There is simply no way belief in an invisible being in the sky can survive this!

A proud Raymond Daglish, a 29-year-old blogger living with his parents in Edgecliff in Sydney’s east, has today declared God “finally dead and buried” after he exposed the 7968th inconsistency in the Bible.

Daglish, who has been unemployed since dropping out of his philosophy course at UNSW, made his announcement with a hard-hitting post on his Your God Is A Lie blog in a move he feels sure will lead to empty churches come Sunday when the news spreads through members of the various Christian denominations.

“You see, this is not just one of your well known inconsistencies,” an excited Daglish told The (un)Australian, “you know, like how in Exodus 31:18 it quite clearly states that Moses received the 10 Commandments on Mount Sinai, but Chronicles 5:10 said it was Mount Horeb. This is is a totally new one no one has picked up before!

“Like you remember the story, and I emphasise story — ha! — about how David asked for Holy bread from the high priest at Nob? No? Well, anyway the thing is, in Samuel 21:1, it states he was alone, but, and this is the thing, but in Matthew 12:3-4 it says he was with others!

“Now, apparently the Bible is the word of God and we are supposedly meant to believe that God is infallible. So you see? That’s it! There is simply no way belief in a mystical invisible being in the sky can survive this!”

When we suggested that perhaps the question of religious belief could not be reduced to a literal interpretation of any document, but that faith was tied to a complex array of historical and cultural factors, as well as the need to find solace and certainty in an irrational and alienating world, and anyway, why on Earth was he so obsessed with someone he didn’t even believe in anyway, Daglish paused momentarily, then said: “But … Matthew 12:3-4 said he was there with others!”

Mr Daglish’s parents told The (un)Australian they were very happy for their son and hoped that, now he had killed God, he might find more time to look for work so he could finally move out of home.

Carlo Sands

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