Indonesia Protests Pistol And Boo Death Sentence

Jokowiphone

President Joko Widodo of Indonesia has called for Australia to stay the execution of Pistol and Boo, two dogs illegally smuggled into Australia by Hollywood A lister and international dog smuggler Johnny Depp. In a statement heard by The unAustralian yesterday evening the President called for a freeze while a diplomatic solution is found. “The dogs must be given a chance to be properly toilet trained and not to bite postmen and to play nice with other dogs down at the park. I have today called Prime Minister Abbott and offered to rehouse Pistol and Boo at the Institute for the Eradication of Rabies of Yogyakarta. I hope my plea does not fall on deaf ears. They are just little puppies.”

Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce responded to the Indonesian statement with an “Aw for God’s sake.” Seated on his back porch with The unAustralian over a cold one Mr Joyce reiterated the official position of the government. “It’s our country mate, no bastard can just up and bring any bloody thing he wants here just because he is some fancy fillum star. Where will it end? Next thing you know we’ll be letting people in! After all they are not working dogs. I’ll shoot ’em myself.”

The events have had some unintended consequences. A  Hollywood insider has said the whole controversy has thrown the scheduled filming of Lassie Down Under into question unless the government reverses its stance.

Damien Ryan reports on animal welfare for The unAustralian and is a past winner of the New Zealand sheep dog trials.

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