Interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison has charged Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton and Former Minister for Women Tony Abbott with the important task of guarding the bee in the basement during the Liberal parties launch this Sunday. “Sure… Read More ›
Abbott
Federal Government Cancels Tony Abbott’s Visa
The Minister for Immigration Peter Dutton has cancelled the visa of former Prime Minister Tony Abbott ahead of Mr Abbott’s proposed trip to the United States. Mr Abbott is due to address the ultra-conservative Alliance Defending Freedom in keeping with his… Read More ›
Liberal Backbencher Stunned To Learn Peta Credlin Is A Woman
A Liberal backbencher has told The (un) Australian, “off the record” that they were stunned to learn that the former Chief of Staff to the Prime Minister, Peta Credlin was a woman and not, as the name “Peta” indicated, a man…. Read More ›
Labor Voter No Longer Objects To Leadership Speculation
Labor Voter Evelyn Bannister today confirmed that she had reversed her position on mainstream media outlets eschewing policy discussion in order to focus on leadership matters. The announcement comes after Bannister retweeted some 27 articles in a six-day period, all of which… Read More ›
Tony Abbott Opposes Leap Second Being Added, Wants Time To Move Backwards
The world is counting down to the leap second being added to our clocks at the very of end on June 30, but Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott is asking the CSIRO to remove 189216000 seconds from Australian clocks, taking… Read More ›
Mafia Moves Quickly To Distance Itself From Liberal Party
Leading figures from the Italian mafia have spoken out to quash allegations raised in last Monday night’s episode of Four Corners that they have ever had any dealings with the Liberal Party. “We’re an honourable institution of thieves, extortionists and… Read More ›