Flights in and out of Denpasar are still delayed by a huge chuff of bong smoke that erupted out of Schapelle Corby’s house last week, stranding thousands of bogans on the Indonesian island.
“Mate, it’s a disgrace. I’ve totally run out of hair to get braided”, said Adelaide holidaymaker Barney Hannah. “I’m down to my last beer singlet and my voice is completely shot from making angry demands of the local officials.”
“My family’s had nothing to eat for the last three days but knock off DVDS and polyester Manchester United shirts,” moaned Doonside mother Raelene Claxton. “I’m fast running out of cash from all the extra misspelled tattoos I’ve been forced to get for myself.”
“We’ve been advising people to remain calm and to ignore anyone who tries to offer them a place on a boat heading for Australia”, said Australian consulate official Gareth Bintang. “Unfortunately for them our government’s Turn Back The Bogans policy is even more popular than its Turn Back The Boats policy.”
Flights are expected to resume later today as the bong smoke clears and pilots stop giggling uncontrollably and bingeing on Kit Kats.