Snail Trails The New Superfood


Curl up your kale and chuck out the chia because scientists have now found the secret ingredients in snail trails that’s inflaming a rush to the new gold in health.

Collected by carefully shaving up a snail’s trail by hand and putting it through a secret refining process to increase its potency, taking only a couple of lines gives you a phenomenal boost, it’s claimed.

“No, I’m afraid you can’t just go all French and eat snails to get a superfood benefit,” says Dr Donald Bunko, an internationally respected gastroenterologist before sliding into the study of snails.

“The secretions that allow snails to glide along contain a number of important enzymes which are only activated when exposed in a certain way to the air,” he said.

Another important aspect to the discovery had been the infusion of special chemical compounds from the surface of whatever the snail was sliding over.

“These special infusions along with antioxidants are thought to have a diverse range of beneficial health properties with some mosses and fungi provided stimulating neurological effects,” Dr Bunko said.

Unlike many recent superfood claims however there has been a remarkable lack of backlash with unqualified support being given by nutritional experts who recognise the role snail snot has played in folk remedies.

But while snails have been used for skin care and other uses for thousands of years, one of their major benefits is the almost unlimited supply of mucus each snail creates giving the product a strong sustainability selling point.

This has pleased cultural anthropologists, with many agreeing that with middle class Westerners licking snail trails prices for the traditional grains and seeds sucked up by the global superfood craze should fall, making them affordable again for many indigenous communities who found themselves with little choice but to get addicted to cheap global fast food chains.

Reg Olives

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.

Categories: Science

Tags: , , ,

%d bloggers like this: