Pregnant Asylum Seeker Treated To Four Day Holiday In Australia Detention Centre


A 23-year-old Somali woman has returned to her detention centre on Nauru after a four-day, all expenses paid, vacation to an Australian detention centre, Immigration Minister Pete Dutton has advised.

The woman, known only as Abyan, won the trip to Australia after her tale of trying to flee the failed state of Somalia, only to become impregnated after being raped while being held for processing on Nauru, elevated her tale of woe above a number of similar sounding stories in the eyes of Australia’s 23 million judges.

“A lot of the applicants in Nauru had the same story. ‘My country is ravaged by tyranny. If I’m forced to return I will be killed’ e.t.c.,” Brooke Winters, an Australian who is generally a fan of her country’s offshore detention policy but supported Abyan’s bid to visit Australia, told The (un)Australian.

“However, Abyan’s story had that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ that allowed her to float overboard while others drowned, metaphorically speaking.”

Ms Abyan’s itinerary included not only her stay at NSW’s historic Villawood Detention centre, but also a trip to beloved cultural landmark Brisbane Hospital, where it is believed she got to see a medical room, talk to a doctor, and even be treated like an Australian patient who required medical attention.

The asylum seeker had also planned to receive an abortion to terminate the pregnancy that had resulted from her rape, but it has been reported she did not get around to it before check out from Villawood at 9:00 am Friday.

Mr Dutton clarified the case of overbooking: “You know how it is when you go on holiday, you try to see all the sights, eat at all the restaurants, and try to abort your rapist’s child, but time gets away from you and you have to sacrifice a few things.

“We tried to squeeze an abortion in for her right at the end there, but by that point she had changed her mind over the entire reason she wanted to come to the country in the first place, so we helped her hurry back to Nauru. There’s nothing like being away to make you appreciate home.”

Legal representatives for Abyan have countered Mr Dutton’s statement, claiming the asylum seeker wanted counselling before undergoing the procedure to assist in allowing her to give informed consent, which was denied to her.

Mr Dutton was quick to respond: “Lawyers are parasites. They have a reputation for lying and saying anything to get their way and this is why. These people are using asylum seekers as a political tool to further their own political agenda. They traffic in fear, manipulation, and appealing to base emotion. There is no tactic too cheap that these people will reject in their desperate attempt to be re-elected …

“Scratch that last line.”

Matthew Farthing is the Immigration Reporter for the (un)Australian. He has joined Australia’s medical fraternities in calling for all detention centres to be open up to scrutiny. These centres should bend over and spread for the white gloved finger of an independent monitoring body.

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