Danish Zoo Dissects Zookeeper In Front Of Children

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The zoo was forced to cull 25-year-old Jurgen Swillbucket after failing to find another zoo willing to take him on.

A controversial zoo in Denmark is once again the focus of criticism after euthanising and dissecting an unwanted zookeeper in front of a crowd of hundreds of children.

“Zoos commonly put down excess staff so we just wanted this to be an educational experience,” said Hendrick Tofting, director of the Copenhagen Zoo. “The youngsters really enjoyed themselves and they took lots of pictures, especially when we held up the spleen for them.”

The zoo was forced to cull 25-year-old zookeeper Jurgen Swillbucket after failing to find another zoo willing to take him on after he became surplus to the requirements of the Copenhagen Zoo.

“Unfortunately Jurgen is related to all the other zookeepers in Denmark so it would have simply led to inbreeding of the species if we’d moved him on to another zoo,” said biologist Frida Hobart.

“At least this gave the children a unique opportunity to see what the inside of a zookeeper looks like, including the inside of his peaked cap.”

The zoo ignored the thousands of people who offered to provide Jurgen with a new home, saying that members of the general public would be unable to provide him with the complex gluten free diet that he needed to survive.

The zoo also plans to push on with the culling and dissection of Marla, a 33-year-old cashier from the souvenir shop.

Peter Green
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