Construction Of Alien Mega-Structure Causing Massive Delays in Hyperspace


Frustrated space ship captains are experiencing gridlock in hyperspace as construction of the mega-structure around the star KIC 8462852 forces closure of major intergalactic roads.

“It usually takes me about 12 parsecs to do the Kessel Run but I reckon it’s going to take me three times as long because of this bloody mega-structure,” claimed space truckie Han Solo. “Who needs a mega-structure anyway. They could have just built an ordinary sized structure and spent the rest of the money on hospitals or something.”

“I went to go through the asteroid field that I always take as a short cut and some prick with a stop and go sign steps out in front of me and says it’s a one-way now,” reported Orkan egg driver Mork. “If you ask me the whole thing is a load of shazbot being built just to impress those guys from Earth whose TV shows we keep intercepting.”

The premier of KIC 8462852 intends to push on with the controversial mega-structure project despite costs blowing out into the zillions. Funding has come from a partial sale of the teleporting network and from pushing back the equally pricey “Death Star” project until after the next election.

“Thanks to this mega-structure these refrigerated cats will be past their use by date by the time I get them home to Melmac,” complained freighter commander Alf. “This is just going to be another big white elephant like those anal probing missions which didn’t discover anything except a whole lot of hillbilly haemorrhoids.”

Peter Green

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