Reason Having As Much Success With Anti-Vaxxer As It Has With Every Other Idiot


Reason reports that it is determined to continue to use common sense and well thought out arguments when countering the claims of anti vaccination campaigners, despite finding that the method is as ineffective in this situation as it has been when used on any other occasion in its life.

“I may as well be talking to my dog, which I often do to the same effect,” said Reason as it enjoyed itself with some relaxing Sunday afternoon statistical analysis in the park. “I’m having as much luck using logic with the anti vaxxers as I’ve had using logic with conspiracy theorists, climate change deniers, 2GB listeners, my kids, racists, religious fundamentalists, taxi drivers, magpies, Chicago School economic theorists and old people; in other words fuck buggity all.”

Reason has often employed ‘science’ when trying to make a point with some dimbulb that’s bailed it up at a party. ‘Science’ is an arcane method of distilling the so called ‘truth’ that attempts to remove feelings and bias from the investigative process. It has recently been replaced by ‘the internet’ and ‘I’ll believe what I want to believe in and I’m stuffed if I’m going to change my mind about anything’ as the prime method of understanding reality.

“Reason’s attitude is typical of what we find when we explain ourselves to a sheeple or sherson, we’re never quite sure what to use as the singular of that word,” said Dottie Herman, anti vaxxer and inexplicable Facebook friend of Reason’s. “I like to base my belief system on the much more comforting method of believing anything that sounds vaguely supportive when it reinforces what I like and covering my ears and going na na na na na when it doesn’t.”

Reason intends to leave the park and spend the afternoon futilely imploring pedestrians to stop pressing the traffic light button more than once after they’ve already pushed it, even though it knows it’s probably wasting its breath.

Peter Green

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Categories: Science

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