The British television industry has responded to the Brexit vote by commissioning a new series of sitcom favourite On The Buses, last made in 1973 — the year Britain entered the Common Market.
“Brussels banned production of the show about cheeky bus driver Stan Butler and his run ins with villainous inspector Blakey because there were no roles for European actors,” said TV historian Benjamin Hill. “As a result Britain was forced to make sitcoms such as Mind Your Language and ‘Allo ‘Allo, which had multiple parts for French, German and other foreign performers.”
In an effort to return the nation to its pristine pre-European Union condition, many of the biggest pop stars of 1973 have been brought out of retirement to record more hit singles.
“We’ve thawed out Noddy Holder and Slade who’ve been on ice in a secret bunker for the past 43 years,” said record producer Theodore Glam. “Expect new albums from Alvin Stardust, Wizzard and Gilbert O’Sullivan, and we’re trying to negotiate an early parole for Gary Glitter.”
“David Cameron would be an excellent choice to play Stan Butler since he’s looking for a new job at the moment,” said London Weekend Television producer Neroli Laughtrack. “But we’ll draw the line at offering Boris Johnston the part of Jack the randy conductor, because even by 1973 standards there’s no way we could imagine dozens of horny clippies finding him in any way sexually attractive.”
“Come on you two, this economy was supposed to be out of the depot and making this country great again ten minutes ago,” said Nigel Farage as he auditioned for the role of Blakey.