Just To Be Clear This Isn’t For Your Seventies Christiany Stuff, Nobel Committee Tells Bob Dylan


The Nobel Prize Committee has stressed to Patti Smith to pass on to Bob Dylan that the award is for his complete body of work except for that weirdass Christiany stuff he was doing in the mid-to-late 1970s.

“Several members of the committee took me aside and button holed me quite passionately on the subject,” said folk singer Smith after accepting Dylan’s literature prize at a formal ceremony in Stockholm. “They all said they really liked Bob’s devotion to incoherent poetry but that he was to be told in no uncertain terms that this wasn’t for anything that was on Saved or Slow Train Coming. A couple of them also had less than complementary things to say about the Travelling Wilburys.”

Smith’s spine tingling performance of “A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall” was the highlight of an evening attended by King Gustav of Sweden and every other stuffed shirt in Europe.

“We completely ran out of white tie gear to hire by mid afternoon,” said Jurgen Troll, manager of the Stockholm branch of Kelly Country. “Fortunately all the hippies who flew over already had their own set of formal gear made from hemp.”

After singing an encore of “Rainy Day Women” with its recurrent chorus of “Everybody must get stoned”, a giggling Patti Smith and King Gustav were later spotted at a Stockholm Seven Eleven trying to purchase a packet of Tim Tams and a bag of lolly snakes.

Peter Green

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