Orangutans Escape Perth Zoo To Join Ginger Pride Rally

Two escaped orangutans have been returned to their enclosure at the Perth Zoo after briefly breaking loose in hopes of making their way to the east coast in time to join next year’s Ginger Pride Rally.

“They wanted to show solidarity with their ranga brothers and sisters but once they jumped the fence they realised they were no longer in the shade,” said head zookeeper John Dolittle. “This comes after their announcement earlier in the week that they will no longer be flying Qantas until Alan Joyce promises to provide free sunscreen to redheads on all flights to sunny destinations.”

During their brief period of freedom the pair were witnessed excitedly reading a newspaper article about the rise of Donald Trump before stealing a mobile phone and calling Schapelle Corby to ask for advice on how to catch a plane without raising a fuss.

“Orangutans are often bullied by the other animals in zoos, especially the panthers,” said primate expert George Jungle. “We believe their plan was to break the red pandas out of their cage and then hitch a lift to Melbourne disguised as a bunch of Weasley brothers lookalikes on their way to a Harry Potter convention.”

Peter Green

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