Conspiracy Theorist’s Nipples Harden As Group Discussion Moves To 5G


A conspiracy theorist’s nipples have given away his excitement as a conversation he was part of began to transition to a discussion around 5G.

Trent McGaw, 37, tried to hide his enthusiasm and pull his jacket over his ever expanding ‘chesticles,’ a clear sign as to how thrilled he was to teach his friends what he had learnt of page 5 of google search results.

“It was a close call,” he told a nearby snitch for the Unoz, “it must have looked like I was smuggling bullets in my shirt. Wasn’t just my nips either, I was afraid to stand up too because I was … er… at full attention.”

Unfortunately, to Trent’s dismay, he only got in a 3 minute monologue of dicey ‘evidence’ and misdrawn conclusions until one punter changed the topic to the socio-economic implications of systemic and entrenched Australian racism – a topic which Trent hadn’t punched into Google that week.

Trent still remained positive before leaving the social event, knowing he could bail up his colleagues on the morning zoom chat the next day.

GK Kidd


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