Former deputy Prime Minister and aspiring Minister for Affairs Barnaby Joyce has called on the Victorian Premier Dan Andrews to ease restrictions in the State to allow people from interstate to visit those they wish to bonk.

“I understand that things are tough in Victoria right now, but come on we need to not go over the top, we need to let the people bonk.” said the Member for New England. “Some people, for instance, have been stuck at home with their Mistress and kids for the past couple of months and need to get out there and sow some oats.”

“So, Dan or Dictator Dan as my friends at New Corp call you, let the people bonk.”

When asked why the Member for New England was so concerned with what was going on in Victoria with regards to bonking, Barnaby Joyce said: “When it comes to matters of an intimate nature, I want to assure the people of Australia that I will always be on the job for them.”

“Whether they are in my seat of New England, Melbourne, Darwin or even the back seat of my car, I will be there for them.”

“Now, If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see a lady about a boner, er a dog about a bone.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: auspol, Barnaby Joyce, Bonk Ban, Corona Virus, COVID-19, Curfew, Dan Andrews, Dictator Dan, Herald Sun, Lockdown, Melbourne, The Bolt Report, VicPol