Acting NSW Premier John Barilaro has issued an executive order for all of the State’s Koalas to be slaughtered and turned in to masks to be made available for a slight fee to the needy. ”When Gladys ordered the entire… Read More ›
Lockdown
Berejiklian Tells NSW To Only Leave The House On NYE If You’re Rich
NSW Premier (for now) Gladys Berejiklian has told the state to stay in this New Year’s Eve, unless of course they are either a high earner or have old family money. ”I call on the state to all come together,… Read More ›
Sky News Presenters Keen For An In Person Circle Jerk Following A Lifting Of Restrictions In Victoria
Sky News’ collection of who’s that presenters are excitedly planning an in person circle jerk in Victoria to commemorate the lifting of lock down restrictions. The move is sure to excite their viewers, all 6 of them. ”It has been… Read More ›
NSW And QLD Schools To Close Ahead Of NRL “Mad Monday” Celebrations
State-run schools in NSW and Queensland have announced that they will close their doors next week ahead of NRL “Mad Monday” celebrations. The first Monday after the regular season is often a day “hijinks” for the players of teams eliminated… Read More ›
ScoMo To Consider Adding Former AFL Players To The National Cabinet
Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has told colleagues that after seeing multiple articles in Melbourne’s Herald Sun newspaper of former AFL players being critical of Victoria’s Covid restrictions, that he is considering adding a couple of them to the… Read More ›
Sky News Calls On Their Viewers All 6 Of Them To Rise Up Against The Lockdown
Niche news network Sky News Australia has sought to get it’s viewers, all 6 of them to take to the streets and rally against Victoria’s ongoing state of lockdown. ”It;s time for Victorians to strike back from this oppressive regime,”… Read More ›