Residents of small resort towns all over Australia are making disaster plans to deal with the influx of posh wankers who normally choof off overseas for a holiday at this time of year. “We’ve survived drought, bushfires, floods and coronavirus… Read More ›
COVID-19
Byron Shire Chosen As Location For Australia’s First 6G Tower
It has been announced that the Byron Shire located on NSW’s North Coast has been chosen as the first place in the world to trial the new 6G technology, with plans to install towers in the coming months. “We understand… Read More ›
Barnaby Calls For Vic Premier To Allow Exemptions To Lock Down For Those Wishing To Bonk
Former deputy Prime Minister and aspiring Minister for Affairs Barnaby Joyce has called on the Victorian Premier Dan Andrews to ease restrictions in the State to allow people from interstate to visit those they wish to bonk. “I understand that… Read More ›
Kelly Gang Commended For Wearing Masks
Dan Andrews has praised outlaw Ned Kelly and his gang for following the correct mask wearing protocol while going about their business of robbing banks and ranging about in the bush. “I watched the video Ned put up on YouTube… Read More ›
Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
Trump Foils Plot To Assassinate Him With Malaria Bearing Mosquitoes
Donald Trump has foiled a Chinese Secret Service plan to assassinate him with a squadron of highly trained malaria bearing mosquitoes by craftily swallowing an entire bottle of hydroxy-chloroquine. “Curses, we spent months training a crack team of anopheles mosquitoes… Read More ›