Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
COVID-19
Trump Foils Plot To Assassinate Him With Malaria Bearing Mosquitoes
Donald Trump has foiled a Chinese Secret Service plan to assassinate him with a squadron of highly trained malaria bearing mosquitoes by craftily swallowing an entire bottle of hydroxy-chloroquine. “Curses, we spent months training a crack team of anopheles mosquitoes… Read More ›
Hanson Follows Trump’s Advice And Starts Taking Hydro Electric Power
Pauline Hanson has issued a statement in support of American President Donald Trump, who today reveled that he was taking the anti-malaria drug hydroxycholorquine to prevent contracting the dreaded Covid-19 virus. “President Trump is a great man and someone we… Read More ›
Man Wants To Know When He Can Go Back To Not Washing His Hands
Scouring news reports for details of what restrictions are being lifted where and when, Brad Murray has just one question: when can he go back to never really bothering to wash his hands? While many have had their lives turned… Read More ›
China Answers PM’s Text With “New Phone Who Dis?”
A relieved Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has revealed the recent trade disputes between Australia and China is a simple misunderstanding after China answered Australia’s text with, “New phone who dis?” “I do admit I was a bit worried when… Read More ›
Malcolm Roberts Plans To Fly To Seattle To Make A Citizen’s Arrest Of Bill Gates
One Nation’s leading mind Malcolm Roberts has demanded that the Prime Minister allow flights out of Australia, so that he can fly to Seattle in the United States of America to make a citizen’s arrest of Microsoft founder Bill Gates…. Read More ›
