Shock jock, John Laws, has stunned the Nation by announcing his retirement from radio. It was not the news of his retirement that stunned the Nation but rather news that Mr Laws was in fact still alive.

“I thought he died years ago… oh good on him” said one 2GB diehard cabbie. “Yeah, all the best on his retirement. Wait, Is he retiring or just doing in-store appearances spruiking Valvoline at Supercheap Auto?”

Mr Laws moved to assure listeners that no, he was not dead and had definitely not died of shame, like a former peer of his had speculated.

He also sought to remind all potential sponsors out there that he was still available for cash for comment, you know what I mean.

Mark Williamson/Jonas Holt

@MWChatShow @Jonas_Holt

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Categories: Media

Tags: 2gb, Alan Jones, Australia, Cash for Comment, Golden Mic, Golden Tonsils, John Laws, Kyle Sandilands, Media, Mediawatch, radio, Ray Hadley, Retirement, RIP, Shock Jock, Vale, Valvoline