A sad Shire magpie who simply wants a friend is unable to comprehend why everyone he swoops down on to give a hug to runs away in terror.

“I’m so alone all day on top of this telegraph pole and all I want to do is make a little quality tactile time with another being,” said Miranda magpie Eddie Snapson. “But all I ever get is the cold shoulder and people waving sticks at me.”

Eddie’s social isolation has been compounded by his phobias of ice cream buckets, sunglasses and cable ties.

“I had a really bad experience as a young chick when a whole truckload of Neapolitan ice cream almost ran me down just outside the Raybans factory,” wailed the desperate and dateless Snapson. “I’ve been trying to overcome my shyness by approaching strangers and air kissing them but this only provokes them to wave their arms around.”

Eddie is hoping to have some luck making friends with the postman and that Persian cat that he’s been seeing lurking around the neighbourhood.

Peter Green
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Categories: Science

Tags: Australia, Bird Of The Year, Cyclists, hug, magpie, Magpies, New South Wales, Outdoors, Peter Green, Spring, swoop, Swooping season, The SHire, Walking