American authorities have today revealed that the much speculated upon Epstein files are nothing more than a list of countries that the United States should invade.

”Democrats and other bad people have tried for years to smear, Me, Donald Trump, with these Epstein files,” said the President. ”They said all sorts of mean, nasty things when all Jeffrey Epstein wanted was for the United States to invade a few countries.”

”So, I will honour Jeffrey’s memory by invading all the countries he mentioned.”

When asked what countries the United States would target next the President said: ”All the mean and nasty ones, Greenland, the Maldives, Cancun in Mexico would make a great place for a Trump resort, so, we’ll probably annex that as well.”

”The World has a lot of love and respect for Me and as a result I don’t imagine them objecting to my actions at all.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bulldoze the Lincoln monument as it’s blocking my view.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: World

Tags: America, Donald Trump, Epstein Files, Greenland, Invasion, Maldives, President, Un, United Nations, USA, Venezuela, Voo Voo Zella