Author Archives
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Refugees To Hide From Authorities By Standing Next To Bill Shorten
A refugee advocate today said plans to stop the federal government potentially sending 267 asylum seekers to Nauru included an “emergency contingency to keep them hidden from authorities by having them stand next to Bill Shorten wherever he goes”. The advocate told… Read More ›
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John Howard Breaks Into House To Update His Encyclopaedia Page
Police have charged former prime minister John Howard with several counts of breaking and entering after they apprehended the former Australian Prime Minister inside a Sydney family’s living room attempting to update his encyclopedia entry. “We received reports of an… Read More ›
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Essendon Signs Ryan Crowley In Positive Move Away From Any Association With Banned Drugs
AFL club Essendon have made a decisive move away from the taint of drug scandal by signing former Fremantle tagger Ryan Crowley, with a source inside the club telling The (un)Australian that “we really needed a clean skin here to move… Read More ›
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Motel’s Leave Only Dirty Towels On Floor Policy Saves Planet
Climate change scientists have announced that global warming has been reversed due to the brave actions of the world’s motel owners in insisting that guests only leave towels that they want to be cleaned on the floor of the bathroom…. Read More ›
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Climate Scientists Resolve To Just Get Really Drunk From Now On
The world’s climate scientists have responded to the release of a major new report by collectively resolving to spend the rest of their time, before global warming-induced eco-holocaust renders human civilisation unsustainable, getting really, really drunk. “We’ve just gotten sick… Read More ›
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Authorities Ready To Move Against Oregon Militia ‘The Second They Convert to Islam’
Denying they were not taking the seizure of a government building by 150 heavily armed militiamen in Oregon seriously, US authorities said today they were developing detailed plans for the decisive use of force against the Oregon occupiers “the very second it… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 