Climate change scientists have announced that global warming has been reversed due to the brave actions of the world’s motel owners in insisting that guests only leave towels that they want to be cleaned on the floor of the bathroom.
“The amount of carbon needed to generate the power to run the extra amount of washing machines needed to wash towels that didn’t need washing was exactly the amount that would have pushed the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere past the point of no return,” said meteorologist Julia Cirrus. “By putting those little signs in every room asking guests not to put towels on the floor unless they really need washing motel owners have saved the world.”
“We worked out exactly how much extra energy was being used to wash towels that had been used for nothing more than drying people’s hands after using the sink and realised that we were in a unique position to heroically save Earth from destruction,” said Graham Sheet-Trolley from the Motel Owner’s Association. “We immediately ordered the printing of millions of tiny cards requesting that our guests only drop towels on the floor if they really, really needed laundering. The resulting reduction in atmospheric carbon dioxide has been staggering.”
It is also believed that the provision of tiny bars of soap for showering has dramatically decreased demand for hot water, reducing atmospheric carbon by an estimated forty billion tonnes.
“Global warming and rising sea levels have been reversed and we can all thank motel owners,” said US President Barack Obama at the Paris Climate Change Summit. “Their use of tiny corn flake packets instead of full sized ones has saved millions of rainforest trees from being cut down.”