Author Archives
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Turnbull Sends Dutton Strawberries As Gesture Of Reconciliation
Malcolm Turnbull has gifted Peter Dutton hundreds of punnets of strawberries in an effort to show that he has no hard feelings following the recent leadership crisis that cost the former PM his job. “I’ve vowed not to be like… Read More ›
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Scott Morrison Lowers Pension Age For Prime Ministers
After checking the latest polls, 50 year old Scott Morrison has announced that Prime Ministers will now be eligible for the pension when they turn 51. “I’ve taken a second look at the budget figures and concluded that the nation… Read More ›
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Canterbury Bulldogs New Face Of Nike’s “Just Spew It” Campaign
Footwear giant Nike have proudly signed the entire Canterbury Bulldogs rugby league team as the Australian face of their revitalised “Just Spew It” advertising campaign. “We drew up the contracts as soon as we saw footage of several Bulldogs players… Read More ›
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Au Pair Smugglers Take Note Of Australia’s Soft Stance
International au pair smuggling rings have taken note of Border Force’s lax attitude with thousands of boatloads of illegal before and after school helpers poised to flood into the country from the north. “Australia is considered a soft touch by… Read More ›
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“No More New Migrants Till We’ve Finished Hating The Ones We’ve Got” Pleads Pauline Hanson
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has demanded that Australia slow down its immigration rate until she’s had a chance to catch up on hating all the immigrants that are already here. “There’re whole groups of migrants that I haven’t got… Read More ›
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“We Thought We Were Voting For Mick Fanning” Say The 19 Stoners Who Accidentally Voted For Fraser Anning
All of the 19 voters who voted for Fraser Anning at the last election have admitted that they were high as a kite on top shelf choof when they put a number one in the box next to his name… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 