Malcolm Turnbull has gifted Peter Dutton hundreds of punnets of strawberries in an effort to show that he has no hard feelings following the recent leadership crisis that cost the former PM his job.
“I’ve vowed not to be like Kevin Rudd or Tony Abbott and keep needling on the sidelines like some sore loser, so I got my butler to go to Woolies and buy up every strawberry in the produce section,” said Mr Turnbull from New York City. “Peter can make himself a delicious and healthy smoothie or preferably just pop the whole fruit into his gaping yaphole and enjoy an immediate dose of vitamin C and fibre, not to mention boosting his daily iron intake.”
Mr Dutton has already regifted the strawberries, repackaging them in a basket and having a courier deliver them to former Border Force Commissioner Roman Quaedvlieg.
“Groom these you backstabbing scrabble rack”, wrote Mr Dutton on a card that he graciously included with the gift.