Liberal Party Introduces 50% Quota For Bullies

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Scott Morrison’s Liberal party has announced that it will introduce quotas into their candidate selection process to ensure that the party is always represented by at least 50% bullies.

“We’ve heard what people have said about quotas and we’ve listened,” said Prime Minister #ScoMo. “The Liberal party has a strong tradition of being run by bullies and I will ensure that this proud tradition continues.”

“Now give me your lunch money and punch yourself in the head.”

When asked why a quota system for bullies and not women was to be put in place the Prime Minister responded: “Whoa sexist, women can be bullies as well. Have you ever met Bronwyn Bishop or Sophie Mirabella?”

“Those two should be in the bullying hall of fame or the Senate as it’s known as. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to beat up my Social media team.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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