Author Archives
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“Anti-Dickhead Vaccine Still At Least 12 Months Away” Say Desperate NRL Scientists
Development of a vaccine to stop rugby league players acting like dickheads off the field is still more than twelve months away and may never be discovered, despondent NRL scientists reported yesterday. “We’re afraid that NRL players may have to… Read More ›
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Cricket Australia Outlaws Using Spit to Shine Ball: Opts For Sand Paper Instead
Cricket Australia chief Kevin Roberts flagged a flurry of new rules for cricket in reaction to the COVID-19 crisis that has hit the sport. Roberts has suggested practices such as using spit to shine a ball need to be replaced… Read More ›
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Gold Coast Titans Unveil Spotted Jersey For NRL Anti-Vax Round
Gold Coast Titans rugby league players have proudly modeled the special spotted uniform they will be wearing in the NRL’s upcoming anti-vaxxer round. “We’re proud that a bunch of blokes mainly known for their ability to take a series of… Read More ›
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“Your Cities Are Ours Now” Declare New Cockatoo Overlords
Australia’s hopes of a post coronavirus recovery have been dashed after our cockatoo dictators decreed they will not be giving up their control of the city streets without a fight. “The only workers considered essential under our regime will be… Read More ›
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Manspreading Compulsory Under New Social Distancing Law
The government has introduced a new $10,000 fine for passengers who don’t manspread on buses and trains in a bid to slow down the transmission of the coronavirus. “Any person who sits down on public transport and doesn’t whack their… Read More ›
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Musician In Critical Condition After Playing Recorder To Entertain Neighbours
A recorder player is fighting for his life in intensive care after attempting to entertain the fellow residents of his block of flats with an impromptu concert from his balcony. “Barry had seen those YouTube videos from overseas of opera… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 