“Your Cities Are Ours Now” Declare New Cockatoo Overlords

Cockatoo

Australia’s hopes of a post coronavirus recovery have been dashed after our cockatoo dictators decreed they will not be giving up their control of the city streets without a fight.

“The only workers considered essential under our regime will be the employees of the Sao factory,” said cockatoo spokesbird Polly as he swooped menacingly low along a deserted six lane highway. “Get back inside. Don’t force me to make that yellow thing on top of my head rise up in the air and go medieval on you.”

“We’ve started a program of systematic destruction of all city buildings that would put Mirvac and Meriton to shame,” said the head of cockatoo in charge of town planning, also called Polly. “Our overall plan is to pick everything apart and leave it lying around in an unholy mess. We expect Sydney to look pretty much the same as it did before we took over.”

There have been unconfirmed reports of lone joggers being rounded up and taken to the former Warragamba Lion Safari and being forced to ride little bicycles along a tightrope for the entertainment of cockies.

Peter Green

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